Elizabeth has come home, once again, with enough plastic bags to stuff a scarecrow.
I am beginning to wonder if my efforts to be a green grocery shopper are worth the trouble. It’s hard enough to get to the store with my list in hand, but a veritable miracle if I make it through the automatic doors with my hodgepodge of reusable bags. But really, that’s just half the battle. Getting out of the store with the groceries in the aforementioned bags is equally challenging. At the risk of insulting grocery baggers worldwide, I truly think some form of continuing education is in order. They have the plastic sacks down pat, but nothing in Bagging 101 prepared them for the challenges of green bags. Maybe if the bags were all the same—some universal reusable bag—there would be less confusion. But, alas, I can just see the bewilderment set in when it comes time to arrange everything into my motley assortment of sacks. Forget about heavy on the bottom and bread on top. It’s an out and out free for all.
And God forbid I might request no bags at all. On one trip, after leaving my bags in the car for the umpteenth time (despite the signs all over the parking lot reminding me), I went out on a limb and asked to have the groceries loaded back into the cart, without bags. I would just bag everything when I got to my van. There was a moment of near panic and I could almost see the baffled bagger scanning his memory for the class in “what to do if…” Ultimately, even after clarifying my request no less than three times, I ended up leaving the store with damn near everything individually bagged.
I have also learned it is critically important to be specific if there are some things you want bagged and others you don’t. In one case in particular, I remember watching a teenage boy struggle to cram a 12-pack of toilet paper into my reusable bag. In an effort to rescue him from this near impossible and completely unnecessary task I said, “Oh, you don’t have to bag that.” But just as I said it, the other teenage boy had picked up my box of tampons. Confused and flustered, they proceeded to play hot potato with said tampons, thinking I meant for those to go unbagged.
Determined to save the planet, however, I will continue to bring and forget my green bags. I will continue to confound the baggers with my complex requests. And apparently, despite my best efforts, I will continue to leave with even more plastic bags.